Preparing for Presentation, Completed Scenes

I'm a little nervous for my presentation on Tuesday. I have been working over spring break to complete illustrations and re-write or cut any scenes/dialogue. Here are two scenes that I completed editing today that introduces the main human antagonist in the story, Chairman Rose, the most powerful politician in Vizarro Grand.

This scene is meant to illustrate the tension not only between Mr. Squelge and Chairman Rose personally, but racial tensions between humans and other races like "Tahnzi" people (like Barker) or rare people that have special magical powers called "Ethereals" (Squelge is one, as he can speak to rodents.) Though Rose is stoic and calm on the outside, he is, like many other humans, fearful and suspicious of these other races.

As described in a scene posted a few weeks ago, Mr. Squelge learns that the allowance promised him by the government following an enormous war that took place fifteen years prior has been significantly reduced. We see two powerful forces meet each other head on, displaying two different types of power, one magical, one practical. The second scene is brief and sends the villains off on their hunt for Snow, who is across the world now.

Scene Five – Squelge visits the famous “Glass House of Rose Court”

We are now in a beautifully lush greenhouse, with crystal windows and golden support beams. In the nursery, long tables held many different types of plants and flowers, from exotic orchids to hanging fly-traps that sway as insects buzzed by.

At a table pruning potted white roses was Chairman Rose, the most powerful man in Vizarro Grand. Rose was a at seemed to sway  sway d.  that passed. om exotic orchids to hangingbeams for support. en. While the nurse and missionary fit, handsome man in his forties, with a thick mustache and a deep tan, leftover from years of cricket, golf and rugby on the country club grounds. He wore thick goggles with small magnifying lenses on them, to look for imperfections in his roses and quickly dispose of them. Thorns, bad leaves, insects. All were swiftly eradicated.

Through the doors, wrought iron and decorated with intricate curls and rose patterns, strode Squelge. By his side was Lucinda, now free of her leash. At the guarded door, Barker stood on the other side and leaned against the wall.

Chairman Rose look up for a moment from his roses.

“Oh dear,” He said to himself. “A couple of rats in the garden.”

Squelge bowed deeply and swept off his topper, a few rats falling from it.

“Chairman,” He said with his forced annunciation, putting his hat back on. He looked around, smiling a forced close-mouthed grin. He waited for the Chairman to speak but he did not.

“The garden is looking…splendid as ever.”

“Have you any information, Squelge?” Chairman Rose was abrupt and tired-looking.  

“I’m afraid that’s not why I’m here.” Squelge said.

“Hmph.” Rose said, without looking at Squelge. “Then Mr. Grulling in the Treasury department owes me ten notes. I knew you’d be the first one to come crawling on your belly for your pocket money.”

Squelge furrowed his bushy grey brows and opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again. The Rat Master was attempting to rethink his strategy, but was coming up short.

“It’s funny, you wif all these roses, ain’t it?” Squelge commented, watching the Chairman clip the thorns.

“The irony is not lost on me.” The Chairman said, without looking up.

An uncomfortable silence settled, only interrupted by the steady hiss of the sprinklers misting the hundreds of leafy green plants and the occasional squeak of one of Squelge’s mice.

“Chairman, I have it in writing.” Squelge pulled out an old document, faded with age. “It’s old, but it should still 'old up.”

“Yes,” Rose said. “And I’m sure the treasury department will be hearing that at least ten thousand more times this week.”

Squelge gritted his teeth and began to feel anger bubbling up inside.

“I’m not just some boy who served a week and was sent home with a broken nose!” Squelge spat, clenching his fists. “Years! Years and years of my babies and I making sacrifices for this country! I brought over information, I was tortured, I freed a work camp myself, JUST ME!”

“I’m familiar with your service at Greycliff.” Rose had finished with one rose and moved onto the next. “Resourceful, courageous, patriotic. Even putting your…affliction…to good use.”

He cast a glare towards Lucinda and back at Squelge.

“You were given three medals and everyone knows your name. But…no matter if you’d saved us all singlehandedly, I can’t authorize it. Not for anyone.”

Rose brushed his hand across the table, sending little dead leaves fluttering to the floor.

 "The compensation you fellows received was always far too extravagant to my way of thinking anyways. I suppose when a war ends, we’re so happy it’s over, we simply lose our heads and give our heroes everything.” The Chairman clipped a few stray leaves from the stem of the white roses. “I had to do something for the relief effort."

“Are the human’s compensations being cut at all? Hm?” Squelge said. “Or are you letting the Tahnzi and men like me go first?!”

“My, my. You certainly are in rare form today, Squelge.” Rose said. “You’re not going to send your mutt in to rough me up, are you?”

Chairman Rose looked out the glass door to Barker, who still leaned against the wall, cross-armed.

“Strange,” Rose said. “Always with a companion, but never a wife. One would think you had no interest to marry. How very odd.” 

“Mind if I take yours then? I hear she’s not getting any use from you anymore.”  

It was the most well-known secret in the capital that Chairman Rose kept several mistresses and rumors persisted that his wife was frigid.

Rose walked down from his platform and stood in front of Squelge. Squelge was slightly taller, but Chairman Rose was still intimidating none the less.

“Believe me,” He said, his eyes narrowing. “I’ve much more on my plate than listening to you beg for money to piss away. Take your filthy rat and leave.”

Lucinda hissed at Chairman Rose. 

“You ain’t the only one with power, mate.” Squelge said darkly, stepping away from Rose. “My darlings…”  

A rat came creeping from under a table and then another and another, till nearly fifty rats had flocked from the crooks and crannies of the green house to Squelge’s feet.

“You know, I can always weed out the diseased rats, even if they don’t tell me.” Squelge said. “Every year, I lead ‘em to a cliff where I tell ‘em there’s lots of food waiting and…I push ‘em off into the sea. It hurts me…but I do it for the “Grand City.”

He walked back to Rose with all of the rats following behind.

“It would be just as easy for me to bring them in as it would be to push them out.”

Rose’s face remained stony and hard as he went the wall and pressed a button. The heavy doors opened and soldiers with masks with eerie blank faces with only slits to see and breathe, came pouring through, large guns slung across their shoulders. Squelge could see Barker being surrounded by a few of them, as he himself and his babies were.

Rose nodded to the General Paperface. Squelge quickly grabbed Lucy up in his arms as a soldier yanked him out of the line of fire. The Paperfaces mowed down nearly every rat with their fire. 

“Stop!” Squelge cried out, holding a wriggling Lucy. Two pulled Lucy from Squelge’s grip, one ramming the butt on his gun in Squelge’s stomach. Squelge fell to the ground Lucy bit and clawed at the soldiers, but they seemed to take no notice. They held her to the ground and a soldier stood above her, his rifle pointed directly down at her head.

“Is this a display of your power, Squelge?” Rose said, mockingly. “Please, let me show you mine.”

“I HAVE INFORMATION!” Squelge shouted, hoarsely. “ABOUT THE SNOWFALLER! I DO! I DIDN’T TELL YOU BEFORE!”

“Indeed?” Rose raised his brow.

“Y-yes, yes, just away from Lucy!” Squelge cried, looking to Lucy who struggled under the weight of the men.

“Go on, then.” Rose said.

“The Snowfaller was pregnant, with…I dunno, something,” Squelge said. “And she gave birth.”

“You’re lying.” But the tone in Rose’s voice was unsure.

“It was swollen when it was last seen.” Squelge said. “I gave all my information years ago and I’m giving information now.

“Where did you hear this?”

“Where do you think?” Squelge said, looking to the dead rats on the ground. “They gossip, but they ain’t smart enough to lie, rats. They’re simple, ya see.”

“When did this happen?”

“Must have been a while ago.” Squelge said. “Enough time for it to grow.”

“Then it must be…found.” Rose said. “Where is it?”

“Now that I ain’t tellin ya’” Squelge said. “And ain’t no one but the rats know.”

“You’ll tell me or I’ll have your head.”

“I won’t and you won’t find it till it’s a big enough problem ta knock on your front door, Chairman.” Squelge said. “You give me what I’m owed and Barks and I’ll bring it back to you. Lucy can track it. Rats can describe smells. She already knows what this thing smells like.”

Rose seemed to be thinking for a while.

“Well, it would get you out of my hair…” Rose pondered aloud. “If what you say is true, you are to find the beast and bring it back to me alive. If you do, I’ll triple your allowance. If not…don’t bother coming back.”

Mr. Rose went back to his table.

“Men, you will escort Mr. Squelge on his journey.” Rose turned to the General. “He has six months. If he comes up with nothing, shoot him.”

 

Scene Six – Squelge and Barker set off

 Squelge, Barker and Lucy-Darling leave with a small band of Paper-Faces. Barker can hardly believe what is happening.        

“Once we get to the car, I say we make a break for it, mate,” Barker gruffly, in a hushed tone. “Clean getaway.”

“You outta yer gourd, Barks?” Squelge whispered. “Then we’ll never be able to come back to the only good city in this wasteland! We’ll have ‘em on our backs forever and I’ll never get my money! My precious money! All of my cute, darling little notes! We’ll have to work for them! Me? Work for a living?!”

“I mean…we could do that.” Barker said, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” Squelge said, waving his hand dismissively. “Besides, rats are too stupid to lie. They’re just a bunch of bloody, little gossips. There must be something out there. Besides, Lucy knows the smell of the thing, don’t’cha, darling?”

The Rat chattered excitedly as hoped into the shiny orange automobile. Eight Paperfaces, loaded and dressed in military uniform, crammed into the car behind them.

“We know it’s somewhere in Light Island.” Squelge said. “And we know it’s a kid. I’m pretty sure we’d be able to spot some little monster-spawn. Oh, think of the money, the possibilities, Barksy!”

“If we find it.”

“We will! We will find it!” Squelge revved up the car. “Look out Snow-Baby! Squelgey’s out for the big bucks! Hahaha!”

The car takes off from the property and out of sight.


So in these scenes, I wanted to bring all of my villains together and give them motivation and even a little bit of sympathy. Though Chairman Rose is corrupt, brutal and abrasive, he is a frazzled man who just wants a moment alone in the garden to relax, which is partly why is so annoyed by Squelge. And Squelge, who is greedy and conniving, only wants what he was promised. Squelge also has moments of vulnerability to him, revealing the personal sacrifices that makes to keep the city safe and then how much he loves Lucy.

I have tried in these scenes to make sure that the character's personalities are correct and that all of their motivations make sense. I want this story to have as much life and depth that I can bring to it.